As we drove home there was a silence between Tyler and I. Devastation filled the car, and in the back seat was Colter sleeping so peacefully. We made it back to our house we packed a bag, ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, kissed and hugged Ashlynn and headed for the hospital. My brain and body ached, my heart ached and it ripped at my insides to watch Tyler hurt. We finally made it to the hospital it was around 11:30pm they got us checked in, I was so tired, mentally exhausted, yet I had no idea what the days ahead would bring. Around 1:00am Tyler and I decided to go grab some food at the cafeteria, I couldn't eat. When we got back to our room Tyler and I took shifts, he let me sleep first, we knew the following day was going to be very busy.

The next day we met numerous doctors, fellows, nurses, cardiologist, the number of people was overwhelming. Not to mention your thrown into this atmosphere of extremely intelligent people speaking a language completely foreign to you. Tyler and I were still trying to understand what Truncus Arteriosus was, and all the sudden we have medical professionals talking about our son, explaining procedures, and using terminology we didn't understand. It was not only frustrating, but exhausting, and so stressful. My eyes burned from crying, I really felt like I was breaking inside, but I knew I had to stay strong, so we began to educate ourselves on Colter's condition, we started taking notes, and really leaned on each other to get through each day. 

As the days went by each day was a day closer to surgery day. I still couldn't believe where we were, I still couldn't believe that our sweet baby was having open heart surgery. Nothing  can prepare you for surgery day.  We finally met with Dr. Cohen towards the end of the week, he was very nice and very confident. Tyler and I both felt good after that meeting, we both felt like we understood Colter's condition at that point and what the surgery would in tale. The nurses on our unit thought it would be a good idea to see the ICU before Monday's operation, not knowing what we were going to see or what it would be like, we agreed that we should take a tour. I remember the charge nurse was Suzanne, she gave us our tour, she was New Zealand. When we walked into the ICU it was an immediate atmosphere change, it was dark there, it wasn't inviting, it was scary. She asked if we wanted to take a peek at a baby with an open chest just to see what Colter would look like, so we did. I broke down the second I saw that baby lying lifeless on the table, so small and innocent, only a yellow piece of mesh covering her open wound. Above her bed read...OPEN CHEST... I don't know why this sticks out so vividly in my brain, but from that moment I knew I didn't want Monday to come. I never wanted to see my son like that little girl, but as much as I hoped and wished that Colter wouldn't go into surgery Monday I knew it was the only chance we had to save his life.